FROM THE HOUSE TO THE STREET

(...) For death will be as simple as going From inside the house to the street. — Sophia de Mello Breyner As we travel through time (a euphemism for aging), ...

(...) For death will be as simple as going From inside the house to the street. — Sophia de Mello Breyner As we travel through time (a euphemism for aging), our address books fill up with tombstones bearing the names of family members, friends, and acquaintances.

We begin to live more closely alongside death, certain that however arbitrary the order of the waiting list may be, the truth is we are moving closer to the starting line. There are those who think of it often, and those who continue to live as though we were immortal, knowing all the while that their turn will come sooner or later. It was with those who plan everything in mind that I recall an episode I accidentally witnessed.

We were in one of those neighbourhood bakeries, just like so many others. On the counter, trays of delicacies covered in cellophane; the smell of warm bread each time a new batch came out for sale; the sharp thud of the espresso machine’s portafilter hitting the wooden bar; the coffee grinder emitting, from time to time, the same annoying noise; a television left on, broadcasting entertainment for people who need to kill time. Suddenly, we both fell silent.

We found ourselves drawn to the program, which did not fail to surprise us. People were being interviewed who, well in advance, were taking care of all the necessary arrangements for their own funeral rituals during their lifetime: purchasing the casket ahead of time, choosing the model, detailing the decoration, and leaving final wishes regarding the steps of the ceremony. In terms of service, there is something for every taste: from those who dictate a funeral mass, musical accompaniment, and readings, to minimalists who settle for the most manifest sobriety at the hour of farewell.

The agency, acting as the intermediary for the execution of these last wishes, was also present. There is, indeed, a market niche for this type of service. Most of the people seeking them out were religious, had no direct descendants or other family, lived alone, or were under the care of nursing homes.

They were distressed by the possibility of having no one to ensure them a dignified departure. Make no mistake, those who spoke out were not “with one foot in the grave.” On the contrary, there was a vibrant energy and an immense lucidity in dictating wishes that were meant to be fulfilled.

Everything was legally recorded between the parties so that the dignity of the final journey would be fully respected. Having heard enough, both my table companion and I returned to our conversation. “None of this bothers me,” she said.

“After all, I have always lived between the boards of a coffin.” She looked at me the way people look at you when they know they don’t need to explain a thing. Not because it was necessary to specify the outlines of the metaphor—dead while alive—but because the television program had breached the dam holding back the torrent of her grievances.

There are moments like that, when everything collapses due to a single fissure that sweeps away the pile of complaints submerged in the floods of resignation. First, her father, who had clipped her wings, forcing her to crawl every time she dared a higher flight. Then, her husband—she would leave the hands of one only to fall into the hands of another.

Only the anatomical relationship changed because, after marriage, it wasn’t just her hand that had been asked for on an afternoon of formal consents, but her entire body in a submissive surrender of someone who now had the obligation to satisfy desires full-time. And that was how the children were born—the natural consequence of consummated sacraments, provided nature poses no obstacles to the paths of fertility. Hence the image she used—the boards of my coffin!

We resumed our conversation, after letting the urgent need for a confidence rest in peace. Aida Batista/MS The content on the Milénio Stadium website is automatically translated using Google Translate.