Preparing for a Breakup: More Important Steps

Preparation is key when you are planning a divorce. Here are some important steps.

Preparation is key when you are planning a divorce. Here are some important steps: - Talk to a divorce coach, life coach, or therapist to add skills to your toolbox for how to manage conflict in your new life. Identify podcasts and blogs that can provide support, such as Divorced Girl Smiling or Divorce Coaches Academy.

Investigate alternative processes for divorce, such as Collaborative Divorce Illinois. - Plan the script for telling the children. Do this before anything is filed with the court, because once there is a court file, it is public record.

Your friends, neighbors, teachers, and more will be aware of the impending breakup. Children should hear from both parents with a united front of love, preferably with everyone all together and in a safe place that is also neutral. For example, avoid the kitchen table, family room, and kids’ bedrooms.

Make sure they understand that they will not be taking sides or making choices, so the pressure is off. Set up a variety of schedules to practice different parenting time solutions. Do not tell them someone is at fault.

- Before you file, have you exhausted your efforts to settle before going to court? Court makes things expensive and prolonged. Try to meet with your partner and both of your attorneys to see what is needed to reach a negotiated result.

That type of result is more likely to be followed. - Take a close look at the expenses for your lifestyle and what resources you need to support it. Talk to your tax preparer or a CDFA--certified divorce financial planner--to develop a plan and a budget.

- Get yourself in your best physical and mental condition. Exercise, avoid alcohol, set aside time for sleep, healthy eating, and for relaxation like a bath, book, bike ride, or walk to have time to focus your thoughts. Investigate yoga, friends’ groups, and support groups.

For more information, please contact: Wakeman Law Group, PC 741 S. McHenry Ave., Suite A Crystal Lake, IL 60014 Ph: 815-893-6800