‘Whataboutism’ makes the internet exhausting. Why people think this way

“Bean soup theory” refers to people thinking all content they see online should apply to them. Here’s why this is happening and how to grow out of that mindset.

Scrolling on TikTok during a break one day, I watched a content creator named Kara make a vegan bean soup recipe to boost her iron levels during her menstrual period. “All my anemic girlies this one is for you,” the young woman from central Florida, who goes by her first name online, wrote in the caption. Many people liked and commented positively on her video, but others had questions: “What if I don’t like beans?” and “Can I substitute the beans with something else?”

Um ... what? I wondered why they didn’t just look for a different recipe. Welcome to the strange phenomenon of people expressing anger or helplessness to online content creators or writers who don’t acknowledge their specific lifestyles or limitations.

“This is something that has always existed but has been very much exacerbated by social media and accelerated rather intensely in ... recent years,” said Dr. Jessica Maddox, an associate professor of entertainment and media studies at the University of Georgia. Those comments on Kara’s August 2023 video made it go viral and gave the behaviour its trendy “bean soup theory” nickname that’s still frequently lobbed and discussed today. The attitude is also referred to as “whataboutism” or “what about me-ism.”

(Kara didn’t respond to my request for comment.) “It’s normal for us to have egocentric processing, to filter the world through our own experiences,” said Micheline Maalouf, a Florida-based licenced mental health counselor and content creator with more than 1 million followers on TikTok. But people shouldn’t stop there, experts said — so unpacking other psychological, emotional and technological factors that limit critical thinking and empathy is important.

Moments of strange outrage A woman named Daisey posted on X (formerly Twitter) about a morning ritual she and her husband enjoy together, sharing that “my husband and i wake up every morning and bring our coffee out to our garden and sit and talk for hours. every morning. it never gets old & we never run out of things to talk to.

love him so much.” I loved that for her! Many other people, however, did not.

“I hope you know how privileged that sounds. I bet most people have sacred things but aren’t as lucky,” one person replied. “Lovely intention,” someone else responded.

“But when I read it, I felt cringe as well. Not cuz she’s living her best life with her love ... but (unintentionally) coming off to the (rightfully) bitter ppl who (a) don’t have gardens which can be extremely therapeutic.” Daisey caught so much heat and sparked such widespread discourse that she deleted her post.

(She didn’t respond to my request for comment.) Maalouf, the mental health counselor, has also faced criticism over her social media posts, she said. She posted videos on using sour candy or spicy food to shorten a panic attack since the activation of your digestive system can signal to your nervous system that you’re not in danger.

Some people with diabetes replied that they couldn’t eat those foods because of their illness. “I was shocked,” Maalouf said. “I assumed people would just know that that video wasn’t for them.”

When she suggested they try salt packets instead, a different person said they have high blood pressure. (Maalouf generally no longer engages with those types of comments.) Sometimes comments such as these are “using the creators as Google,” said Sarah Lockwood, a content creator in New York City.

And they may be assuming from just one video that the creator’s usual content is offering recipes for anemic people, so of course the creator would have alternatives in mind — rather than understanding the