Couple stand strong in face of some hate-fuelled Pride comments

Hurtful slurs show why event is still needed, say pair, MLA, and Pride brass

Article content A same-sex couple who posted an uplifting photo and message on social media about last weekend’s Pride parade in Fredericton say they weren’t surprised by a few nasty, homophobic responses – including one expressing hope that they’d suffer violent deaths. The post, from Stephanie Lavigne and her wife Rachel, shows the couple smiling. There’s a simple message accompanying the photo: “Waiting for the Pride parade to start,” ending with an emoji of the rainbow flag.

While the vast majority of responses to the couple’s post were positive, those that weren’t all appear to have originated from outside New Brunswick. “Hopefully they all fall through a manhole. Onto live, bare electrical wires.

Close to a barrel (sic) of gasoline,” wrote Sheldon Lutgen, who describes himself on his social media account as a spray painter who owns his own business in Prince George, B.C. When Brunswick News asked Lutgen why he wrote what he did, he responded with another homophobic slur: “Make me famous, f—-t.” He later threatened legal action if his name was published.

Another post by a user named Billy McConnell suggested the couple were suffering from mental health issues. Asked for comment, McConnell responded with similar homophobic slurs and threatened the Brunswick News reporter. Lutgen’s comment to the Lavignes – and the handful of other negative posts made by people outside New Brunswick about the couple – was met with fierce backlash online, and has sparked strong responses from Pride co-chair Santiago R.E. and Luke Randall, the MLA for Fredericton North and the province’s only openly gay provincial politician.

For Stephanie Lavigne, the post was disappointing but not particularly surprising. “People say, ‘Well, why do we even need to have Pride?’ And that’s just an example of the reason why it’s still necessary,” she said while agreeing that most of the reactions to her post were overwhelmingly supportive.

Stephanie said she and Rachel didn’t even notice the posts until about 10 p.m. on Saturday night, after hours of celebration that included the parade and the festival that followed. And while they certainly didn’t let it ruin their night, the comments did provoke a reaction: “We were like, ‘Oh my God, look at this! It’s crazy.'”

The couple never considered contacting police about Lutgen’s post – unfortunately, largely because they’ve seen comments like his before. “We didn’t even comment on those comments, but we did have close friends and family that that did,” Stephanie said. “There’s a lot of people that definitely don’t take well to people putting negativity in our direction.”

She stressed that she and Rachel don’t feel that the homophobic comments in any way reflect on Fredericton’s LGBTQ+ community, or New Brunswick. “Locally, for the most part, we don’t get that negativity,” Stephanie said. “I mean, it was a beautiful day, Saturday downtown.

There were so many people there, so many supportive people that we didn’t even really give it a thought until we came home and looked at our post and saw those comments, and then it was just kind of like, ‘Oh wow, you don’t even know us, and here you are.'” Rachel said she and Stephanie considered deleting the abusive comments “because some people in the community are very angry and they’re they’re wording things more strongly than either one of us would.” “But we’re just going to leave it.

We just decided that we don’t want to censor it,” Rachel added, even though “there’s a lot of hate being bandied back and forth right now as a result of all this, and it’s a bit uncomfortable, really.” Santiago R.E. said he hadn’t seen the post in question until Brunswick News alerted him to it, and that the Pride board has also had some homophobic slurs directed its way in the last few weeks. There was a lone protester at Saturday’s parade, he said, describing the person as an American man who travels to Pride events in Canada “to spew religious comments about Pride people going to hell, that they are sick and they need to be cured.”

“So it’s just very sad that it’s people who are not even part of the community that take it upon themselves to attack a community that is very strong, that is very loving towards one another – and you can see from (the reaction to) those comments (on the Lavignes’ post) that people came to support them,” Santiago R.E. said. “We have a community here that supports them, that loves them, and that is going to keep them safe no matter what. So no matter all these comments from wherever they come, I think the community still prevails.”

Randall agreed, and said he’s also been on the receiving end of homophobic slurs, mostly from people outside the province – but with a handful of locals thrown in too. “What I would say is that typically, when I know individuals and community and they know me, I’m not experiencing those types of comments regularly from people who know me,” Randall said. “There are a few people who would make comments similar to the ones that you mentioned on my posts regularly, and certainly that’s extraordinarily hurtful.

“I would say, if you’re a member of the LGBTQIA2S+ community, you’re gonna feel those emotions that one would feel when there is something derogatory put on one of your posts, and it’s especially cutting when it goes to who you are, to your identity.” Santiago R.E. and Randall echoed the Lavignes’ comments about the negative posts illustrating why Pride events are crucially important. “(Pride events are) an opportunity to talk about respect for each other,” Randall said.

“It’s an opportunity for us to show how all kinds of voices can work together in community, to help build community. And there’s not a lot of forums that do that in modern life. Many of the people who would have marched in our group would have reflected a lot of different voices and a lot of different folks, who are all very different people.”

He used himself and Premier Susan Holt, who also marched in the parade, as examples of the “different folks” he was referring to. “We have a woman who’s premier of the province, who’s straight, who’s a mother of three, marching to support human rights and Pride, along with the only out gay MLA right now in the province,” Randall said. “Two very different lives and two very different families and two very different perspectives.

But Pride is an opportunity to show that we can work together to find common ground to build community.”